Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Gash – A Young Man’s Gash (Or Why A Rare Record Is Not Really Worth Its Money) - #34

Gash – A Young Man’s Gash (Or  Why A Rare Record Is Not Really Worth Its Money)
A German Band from the 70’s, alternatively called heavy (by some “experts”) or progressive (by another bunch of “experts”). They go on about what a fine record this is, especially the B-side which also features a full orchestra and that the A-side is of a somewhat lesser quality, but still holding up to the overall excellent quality of this album, which, btw, has never been legally re-released on CD (although there is a counterfeit CD available by a bootlegger outfit called “Germanofon”). Avoid this Label at all cost. Not just because of the counterfeiting nature of their product, but also because of the inferior quality (read, mostly pulled from scratchy vinyl).

And before you try to find a decent vinyl copy for EUR 300.00+, forget about acquiring one of these as well. Take your silver bullets with you, a handful of garlic and a peg with a hammer. And if you happen to see this album somewhere, make sure to give it all you’ve got, just to make sure this is not going to haunt any collectors worldwide anymore. My gratitude to you for saving the world from one of the worst and most redundant LPs in the whole universe. Imagine Black Widow, but just with the teutonic inability to put anything into verse, because, yes, friends and neighbours, this is an album that gives you nightmares for a long time to come. 

Talking about the music: This is syrupy stuff, that’s quite o.k., if it’s meant for your kids afternoon nap. Nice organ doodling its way through the tracks, being accompanied by untalented drum and guitar works. But the real icing on the cake (in the most negative way imaginable) is the “singer” and the “lyrics”.  The vocalist is this kind of deadpan German guy, you can see in Hollywood pictures about the second world war. Kind of “Ja mein General! Wir werden die Russen im Morgengrauen angreifen!”, well almost. There is no feeling there, this is about  reading the 8 o’clock news on German TV from the teleprompter.

But the band has crafted their lyrics in a kind of language I don’t understand. Sometimes I think they’ve tried their hands at English, but I’m pretty sure, this is not what it was meant to be. I mean, us foreigners will make a lot of mistakes when speaking or writing in another language (as certainly everyone who reads this blog or has been over to my website or has met me in person, can attest to). What I don’t understand is, why can’t bands have some proofreader do a final check. I mean, these are just a couple of lines and it shouldn’t be so expensive for a person of English mothertongue to make a few corrections to a couple of words. But, really, if they want to go down in pophistory as the most stupid band in the world, this is their decision. It’s just, that, if you have absolutely no idea about a foreign language, you should just maybe stick to what you know. Maybe releasing a record with German vocals in this case.

There’s no lyrics here, as this would be a breach of copyright matters, but you’re invited to check out the www and laugh until your insides hurt. Interestingly enough, the LP doesn’t seem to have shifted a lot of copies when it came out, thus making this a collector’s item. But it is one of these instances, where the going rate doesn’t match the musical value. You’re paying around EUR 320.00 for a mint copy at the moment (if you can find one, that is) and all you get is a colourful fold-out sleeve and a piece of black plastic on the Brain label. Taken the music into consideration, this album should be discounted to about half a Euro. And that’s maybe overly optimistic. I bought my copy sometime around its original release in the first half of the 70’s, but I can’t recall why I’ve made the decision to pick this. I mean, I did buy some fishy ones throughout the last decades, but this one tops it all.



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